Please scroll below for sample pages and reviews from my new eBook
Conquering Cancer – Survivors Secrets
The subject of this eBook is how you can learn to value-add to your recovery.
For most of my working life I have investigated key elements that enable cancer patients to survive & thrive or prolong their life way beyond expectation. One theme that holds true for thousands of survivors and thrivers was their ability to use the experience of cancer to transform their lives in order to survive and thrive! In other words, losing your life in order to find your life!
When I began working in the field of cancer more than 35 years ago there was an appalling lack of information available for patients and caregivers – with no computers, the world was different place for the ‘seeker’ of options! The internet has brought wonderful additions such as access to this eBook technology, however, as a cancer patient, one click of a mouse; can instantly transport you to the world of confusion, information overload and elevated stress responses as you sift through the maze of ‘magic-bullet’ cancer cures. Information overload can generate fear, causing overwhelm or emotional paralysis due to too many options – too many things to do. This often goes hand in hand with financial stress caused by too many supplements and resources. It is a mine field for the uninitiated and unsuspecting cancer patient. Take care—scams abound!
As long as the focus stays just on alternative, complementary or orthodox medicine and various combinations of those modalities – there will remain suffering for patients and families. It is imperative that first-line humanistic medicine is incorporated to complete the holistic model. Health professionals need to play a part in creating a new paradigm of care for cancer patients. Conquering Cancer – Survivors Secrets is about that paradigm shift.
Read latest reviews
Four-time cancer Survivor and author Bob Ellal has this to say about Conquering Cancer…
“I think it’s marvellous, extraordinary, as it approaches a cancer patient’s attitude on many levels. I think you’re spot on: that’s the starting point, and the continuous point. This is an important book as it advises people to discuss their emotions, acknowledge them, then get on with coping and perhaps finding ways to participate in their own recovery. I would recommend this book highly as the ‘alpha point’ for anyone diagnosed with cancer. “
Jeff Hutner – New Paradigm Digest writes in his blog…
Sample read – pp 63-65 – Conquering Cancer – Survivors Secrets
A good indignation brings out all one’s powers. Ralph Waldo Emerson
Perhaps the most underestimated contributor to ill health in my three decades of experience is a person’s lack of clear and definite boundaries. Healthy boundaries are a very important part of our emotional health and our general wellbeing. Cancer patients or those with other enduring illness will inevitably need help with boundary issues.
A boundary is a limit set by you either by past conditioning or by your empowered intention. These self-limits when established determine what is identified as self and what is identified as not self.
A boundary is also described as your ‘choice field’ where you choose who or what you let in and who or what you keep out. Others describe a boundary as a semi-permeable, invisible, resilient but flexible membrane that surrounds us. In its healthy state it bends and flexes as our mind decides what is healthy to allow into ‘our space’. An interesting analogy is that our cell walls perform the same function in protecting us from invaders and take-over bids by rogue cells!
Boundaries may have been learned or not learned in your family of origin or they may have been altered as you travelled through life. Boundaries can be non-existent and this is often the case with PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) because when we become dispirited or separated out from life it will reflect in the way we deal with others and the illness itself. For example a patient who is feeling hopeless and helpless may give up because they feel daunted, fragile and boundary-less. This can be related to stage one in the three stages of healing model.
The opposite can also be the case where a patient builds solid ‘emotional walls’ in order to survive—for example resilient coping when the patient pushes on, declining help from others. Whatever way the pendulum has swung, learning to create or recreate healthy boundaries has huge benefits in how we live our life.
When you cannot contain your own energy within your own boundaries or limits then others can become personal ‘space invaders’ Patients have described this as a sense all the energy just bleeding out of them. Fritz Perls, the founder of Gestalt therapy was aware of this phenomenon and often told clients to “beware of the vibe suckers!” These he said are the people who can invade ‘your space’, and if you were feeling good beforehand, once they leave, you feel spent and drained. In that situation, an unhealthy energy exchange has just taken place between the two of you.
Many patients tell me they feel as if they have ‘disappeared’ when consulting with their oncologist. This is not a good time for absence of boundaries and is often the source of many miscommunications between doctors and patients. I cannot over emphasise the importance of taking a scribe or recording a consultation with the oncologist’s permission of course. Later make notes and listen and re-listen, ask questions before making decisions.
How to identify your boundaries or lack of them and the boundaries of those around you?
If you have healthy boundaries you will be an empowered person who knows and speaks their mind, has self-mastery, charisma and can very politely say “no” and mean it without feeling guilty. As well you will not merge or get over-involved in the affairs of others so that you take on their problems in a personal way. Your relationships will build respect and an ease with being direct.
If you have a boundary issue you will notice:
- Fatigue and the associated energy drain when under challenge or with others. This is a major signal that boundaries are fragile and vulnerable. This is often experienced where there are power struggles and control issues in relationships.
- Indecision, inability to focus, forgetfulness and excessive daydreaming.
- If you have been trying to meditate: attempts are often thwarted as you tend towards drifting, falling asleep or feeling scattered and overwhelmed. There is often a feeling of being drained or jumpy after meditation rather than feeling energised.
- There are often feelings of “being beside yourself”, disconnected, numbed and feeling as if one is functioning on automatic pilot.
- You can become overwhelmed when under pressure or for some people so walled off that they become unreachable.
The issue of boundaries could fill an entire book – however if you see yourself in these few pages, there are some self-help steps you can take, but there is no substitute for seeking therapy such as professional help of a counsellor, psychotherapist or psychologist.